Last week I met with members of the Bereavement Group for some ongoing training. This session prompts me to address the parishioner’s approach to funerals. Let’s start with the most fundamental issue: “In the face of death, the church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, the Son of God, by his death and resurrection has broken the chains of death.” The ministry of the church to the bereaved is to accompany them, to have compassion for their grief and to offer the hope of eternal life and a share in resurrection for the deceased.
The church’s approach to a funeral is wise: frequent moments of gathering and prayer are better than trying to do everything and say everything at one service. The Order of Christian Funerals suggests there be: Prayer for the family and friends; Prayer in the presence of the body of the deceased; A vigil service prior to the funeral Mass; The funeral Mass or on occasions a funeral service and Prayers at the graveside. I and the bereavement team want to offer more than one of these prayer times to each bereaved family. Some points for you to consider:
A) Have you told your family, in writing, you want a funeral Mass? If you are not clear about your wishes, they are unlikely to be known. Don’t presume your family will know what you want. It is possible your children are no longer connected to the church and they will feel uncomfortable back in that context. If your faith is important to you and you want to have a Catholic funeral ask your children to respect you enough to give you one.
B) The church has a preference for a traditional burial as an expression of our faith and hope in the resurrection, however cremation is accepted by the church provided the ashes are interred entire. The ashes should not be scattered, split up or kept at home. A funeral Mass can take place before or after cremation.
C) The church believes it is good to gather and pray a number of times between the death of a person and the Funeral Mass. A vigil service is suggested though many prefer a rosary. As renting a funeral home chapel is expensive at Holy Rosary we are open to having the church used for a brief service some time prior to the Mass. This way people can pray, view and then have a funeral Mass.
D) I encourage people who are connected to the parish to notify myself or the parish office immediately on the death of a parishioner. Prayers can be offered immediately and the family will be more comfortable in directly stating to the parish their wishes for funeral arrangements and not having to depend exclusively on a funeral home. Notifying the parish is very important if a family is not using a funeral home and proceeding immediately to cremation.
If you have any questions, please email me or phone the office; it is good to talk about the reality of dying and death. Jesus points to the fact these themes are part of life and are frequently enveloped by His resurrection.
Fr. Neville O’Donohue SM
Pastor
The church’s approach to a funeral is wise: frequent moments of gathering and prayer are better than trying to do everything and say everything at one service. The Order of Christian Funerals suggests there be: Prayer for the family and friends; Prayer in the presence of the body of the deceased; A vigil service prior to the funeral Mass; The funeral Mass or on occasions a funeral service and Prayers at the graveside. I and the bereavement team want to offer more than one of these prayer times to each bereaved family. Some points for you to consider:
A) Have you told your family, in writing, you want a funeral Mass? If you are not clear about your wishes, they are unlikely to be known. Don’t presume your family will know what you want. It is possible your children are no longer connected to the church and they will feel uncomfortable back in that context. If your faith is important to you and you want to have a Catholic funeral ask your children to respect you enough to give you one.
B) The church has a preference for a traditional burial as an expression of our faith and hope in the resurrection, however cremation is accepted by the church provided the ashes are interred entire. The ashes should not be scattered, split up or kept at home. A funeral Mass can take place before or after cremation.
C) The church believes it is good to gather and pray a number of times between the death of a person and the Funeral Mass. A vigil service is suggested though many prefer a rosary. As renting a funeral home chapel is expensive at Holy Rosary we are open to having the church used for a brief service some time prior to the Mass. This way people can pray, view and then have a funeral Mass.
D) I encourage people who are connected to the parish to notify myself or the parish office immediately on the death of a parishioner. Prayers can be offered immediately and the family will be more comfortable in directly stating to the parish their wishes for funeral arrangements and not having to depend exclusively on a funeral home. Notifying the parish is very important if a family is not using a funeral home and proceeding immediately to cremation.
If you have any questions, please email me or phone the office; it is good to talk about the reality of dying and death. Jesus points to the fact these themes are part of life and are frequently enveloped by His resurrection.
Fr. Neville O’Donohue SM
Pastor